Fawkes' Secret
by severusphoenix
Summary: A 2010 Challenge Fest entry at Potions & Snitches - Fawkes has a secret - he's an animagus. Set in both the Marauders era and in POA.


Fawkes' Secret

_Harry's Third Year – Spring of 1994_

Harry walked through the halls of Hogwarts, tracking the dot labeled 'Peter Pettigrew'. He had been deeply puzzled when he had noticed it this evening. He knew wandering after curfew was sure to get him in trouble if caught, but he also knew Peter was supposed to be dead and he simply had to find out whether the map was mistaken – it never had been before.

He tracked the dot around the corner, he should be face to face with Peter in a moment – if the map was true. The corridor remained utterly empty. He saw a shadow and was startled, then realized it was his own reflection in a mirror.

He looked back down at the map, realizing that Peter's dot had vanished and instead Professor Snape was about to overtake him.

Bloody hell, it was sure to be detention for him. And he knew Professor Snape had just recieved a shipment of raw ingrediants of the most disgusting kind, and would be looking for students to chop and dissect them into useable forms.

Professor Snape swept around the corner, his wand casting a brilliant Lumos, and looked at Harry. His eyes narrowed and a displeased frown swiftly appeared.

"Harry Potter", the Professor intoned with a grim look in his eyes. "What are you doing out of your dorm?"

"Sleepwalking, Professor?" Harry offered with a sheepish look.

Professor Snape gave him a sneer. "How extrordinarily like your father you are, Harry. He snuck around Hogwarts at night and caused trouble as well."

"Yes, I believe you accompanied him at times..." Harry grinned knowingly at him.

Professor Snape didn't seem amused, though and glanced down at the parchment in Harry's hands. "What have you got, there?"

Harry smiled, sensing a way to distract him. "You won't believe what this map will do, Dad. The Weasley twins gave it to me. It shows everyone in the castle..." Harry broke off, seeing the look of dismay and ... grief in the man's eyes as they looked down at the map in Harry's hands.

Severus took the map carefully, as if it might crumble if touched too roughly. To Harry's astonishment, he sat on the floor of the corridor and leaned against the wall, staring at the map in his trembling hands. Harry was shaken by this, he'd never, ever seen his Dad behave this way ... he always was the controlled one. Uncle Remus, his old tutor and friend was always the one to have spells of nostalgic angst.

Harry sat on the floor next to him and spoke softly, "Dad, what is wrong?"

Severus seemed to shake himself out of the reverie he'd fallen into. "I'm quite familiar with this map, Harry. I helped your father and Remus ... and others in our little group of friends make this map."

"Really? This map belonged to my father? James?" Harry was thrilled, there were few really personal momentoes of his parents, James and Lily. So much had been lost in the explosion and fire when they had died. This object was especially interesting, as it revealed the well-known prankster side of James.

"Well, it belonged to _all _of us – you'd have seen the introduction? 'Prongs, Scorch, Mooney, Padfoot & Wormtail present the Marauders map'. " Severus asked. "Well those were the nicknames the five of us had for each other."

"You never talk about anyone but you, my dad and Remus – never the others." Harry complained. "Was Peter Pettigrew one of them? I heard Professor McGonagall talking about him to the Minister – that he was always trailing after Remus and my dad."

Severus took a deep breath and stood, giving Harry a hand up as well. It was time, he felt, in spite of the Headmaster's uneasiness and Remus' reluctance. Harry needed the warning and he needed to hear the_ whole_ story.

"I'm glad it is a Friday, Harry. I have a very long story to tell you and it might take most of the weekend." Severus and Harry trailed along the halls to the Potions Master's quarters, each of them deep in thought.

Severus made Harry comfortable on the sofa, bundling him into a blanket and summoning cups of hot cocoa from the elves. Severus finally settled into a chair next to Harry with a sigh.

"I know I've told you endless stories about your parents, Remus and I in school. I've not mentioned some of our other friends, except to say that there _were _others – like Alice and Frank Longbottom. This was partly to spare you ... and I painful memories. However, I do think it is time you heard the whole tale – not least because you need the warning it might give you." Harry nodded eagerly, hoping to hear more about James and Severus.

"It is a long story, but you won't understand if I don't start from the beginning...It starts when I met your father, James, at the platfrom 9 ¾ on our way to our first year..."

_September 1st 1971_

Severus dropped his trunk on the edge of the platform. It was quite early, but his mother had assured him the train would arrive very soon and he could read in one of the compartments while waiting for the train to leave – though it would not be for several hours. He wandered around the station, reading the posters and looking into the kiosks that had not even opened yet – he was definately the first one there.

Severus suspected that his mother had not wanted to meet any of the wizards or witches likely to be there later. Not with fresh bruises on her face.

Severus tired of wandering and settled onto a nearby bench. Soon, though others arrived – a few at a time, mostly older students. Many arrived on their own, or were being dropped off by a parent who would leave immediately afterwards. Only one family arrived very early – an older couple with what seemed to be another first year. The boy was exhuberent with excitement. His messy hair and eyeglasses were askew – making him seem all the more manic.

Severus watched the boy closely, fascinated by his carefree manner – much like Lily, he thought wistfully. She wouldn't be here until much later, likely.

The train could be heard arriving into the station and the boy raced to the edge of the platform next to Severus' battered trunk, to peer down the track at the oncoming engine. Severus got up and walked toward the boy to have a look, as well. A pair of older boys, who were playfully shoving at each other walked past and accidently shoved the boy, knocking him and Severus' trunk onto the tracks in front of the train.

Severus acted almost without thinking – amid the screams and shouts he leaped after the stunned boy, grabbing him and rolling them both off the tracks to the other side. They both rolled across a deep mudhole with alot of soot mixed into it, to Severus' disgust.

They both stood, the other boy more slowly, wiping mud off his glasses. Adults streamed around the front of the train, shouting and yelling anxiously. The boy's mother almost collapsed in relief at seeing her son alive and apparantly well.

Both boys were hustled to the platform and a few of the women present tried to wave cleaning charms over their clothing, to little avail.

"Clothes are quite ruined on both of them." One tutted. "But at least the boys are in one piece."

Severus eyes, though, were on the small pieces of his trunk, lying scattered across the tracks and under the train. Pages from the precious books floated on the breeze. Severus' heart sank. There would be no replacing the trunk or the necessary items that were in it. It would be back to Spinners End Road for him. His father had triumphed without even being here.

Luckily the boy's father followed Severus' gaze to the smashed trunk and the demolished belongings and understood the problem immediately.

"Young man, I owe you a great debt for saving my only son's life. I am Phineas Potter, this is Elena, my wife, and the scamp you rescued is my son, James Potter." The boy's eyes turned to him hopefully, as Phineas introduced his family. "Will you allow my to replace what was lost when you dragged my son from under the train at the risk of your own life?" He understood the young boy's obvious pride and did his best to go around it.

Severus considered the man's words carefully and drew himself up with as much dignity as his muddy state and battered clothing would allow and answered in the formal tones his mother had taught him.

"I am Severus Snape - it was my honor to save your son's life, and though I would not consider allowing you to _pay_ for that ... I must confess ... I do not have the resources to replace anything as my parents are not here with me." Severus watched the adults surrounding him nod in approval at his answer with relief. It was difficult to answer so calmly or in such adult language, but it was necessary in the wizarding world to be formal.

The still-pale train conductor came forward. "There is a large apartment with several showers the railworkers use when the train or tracks are being repaired. The lads could use a true cleaning up while all this is sorted out."

Phineas ushered the boys to the apartment to shower, the boys throwing the ruined clothes and robes out the door. They both hustled into the stalls in relief at getting clean and James hesitantly spoke for the first time.

"Thank you for saving my life... adventures sound so exciting in books, but that was just ...horrifying." James said quietly. "I'm sorry your stuff got smashed. I'm sure dad will set everything right though."

"I have to admit it's a relief...I had no clue what to do with my stuff gone – thought I'd have to go back home." Severus reluctantly answered. Admitting weakness was a risk, but this family owed him a debt, so perhaps he could trust them with this much.

"That would sure have been a ruddy bore." James agreed. "Imagine being late to Hogwarts for having saved someone's life! Not a very good reward, that." They both laughed, though Severus' laugh bordered on the hysterical.

Phineas listened to their conversation with a smile. He worried about his son. He knew he and his wife, in their relief at finally achieving parenthood, had shamelessly spoiled James. They had tried to instill ideas of honor and dedication to the light into him, and they hoped it would be enough to keep him from total arrogance. James tended to be a bit thoughtless when it came to the few children he played with – expecting them to go along with his every whim just as his parents always did.

This budding friendship was much to be desired Phineas thought. The young Severus Snape was one to watch. Already he had a will of iron – Phineas had not been a head Auror for thirty years for nothing – he knew how to read people. The lad was brave and honorable – and had a deep well of pride in spite of his obvious poverty. Severus would take no foolishness from James and perhaps James would learn empathy and kindness by befriending the other boy.

Elena hustled in with a large pile of clothing as well as James' trunk. A small house-elf was dragging one of Phineas' old school trunks - the one that James had been horrified to be offered for his use, as the initials did not match his own.

Phineas retrieved a set of James' clothing and took the pile of clothing and trunk into the shower area. James towled off and started dressing. Severus looked at the clothing and trunk uncertainly.

"Elena says the clothing in your trunk was a dead loss. She's a good eye for size and grabbed some clothes at Madame Malkin's – they've plently of charms to grow with you for quite some time – I know how you lads shoot up. The trunk is an old one of mine – I hope you will do me the honor of taking it."

To Phineas' relief Severus simply dressed with a resigned shrug after thanking him very politely for the trunk. The boys continued to chatter as they left – or, at least James talked and Severus nodded.

There was a small crowd of ladies with Elena in the living area of the apartment, all of whom were talking. "...I've told them a rail was needed, but would they listen?"

They broke off at Phineas' arrival, but the apparant leader of concerned mothers continued speaking. "Ah, Auror Potter, something obviously must be done – a rail would have prevented this near – tragedy from occuring in the first place." Phineas identified the stately women as Madame Augusta Longbottom and resigned himself to listening for quite a long time, but to his relief she broke off her rant to look at the Snape boy closely

"A fine display of courage, lad. We were all relieved that you were able to rescue young Mr. Potter. Everyone on the platform ransacked their trunks and came up with replacement books and the other sundries you'll need. We tried to accio and reparo some of your belongings, but I'm afraid they were all too broken." The ladies nodded in sympathy at Severus.

Severus was stunned at the peoples generosity. Nothing like this would have happened in Spinners End Road. Of course people there had little to share and everyone looked after their own first and neighbors second – if at all.

Severus pulled himself together and thanked them. "You and your friends are all much too generous, Madame. But I do give my most profound thanks ... I could not have gone on to Hogwarts without your assistance." Severus gave the group of ladies a formal bow, as he'd been taught.

The group murmured in surprised approval and one of the other ladies spoke up. "Well, now, you rescued young James – a great favorite of ours. School supplies are a small thing against that." The red haired witch gave him a sweet smile, and the gawky and equally red-haired teenage girl beside the Lady grinned at him.

Severus managed a hesitant smile when he spied the prefect's badge on her uniform – an excellent ally to have.

James beamed happily. His new friend – and he was sure he and Severus would be great friends by the end of the train ride – had won the approval of many of his parents friends. Getting all the stuff needed for school was good as well, but hardly difficult for them. From the look on Severus' face, though perhaps it would have been hard. After all his parents had just dropped him off and left. They must have had very important appointments.

The house-elf packed Severus' new trunk with everything and they made their way out to the platform to the train. The excited voices stopped as they entered and sudden applause started, and complete strangers clapped Severus' back and said "Well done."

Severus walked onto the train in a daze. He'd rarely recieved any recognition for anything he'd done. No matter how high his grades, being from the 'riverside roads' meant that he was less than dirt – likely to turn to crime and not to be bothered with, certainly not to be praised above the wealthy students.

Now, these people were treating him like one of them – replacing lost items, praising his actions as being noteworthy.

He loved the wizarding world already.

_1994_

"So you really saved my father's life?" Harry asked brightly. "That was brave of you. You were very quick to have gotten out from in front of the engine with the two of you." Harry said in admiration. "So, the two of you got together as friends because of that?"

"Well, that and because after we settled into seats on the train, Lily found me." Severus smiled ruefully. "I always suspected that at first it was loyalty to the person who had saved his life, and then as a desire to stay on the good side of the best friend of the very pretty Lily Evans."

"Come on, I'm sure it was more than that." Harry smiled jokingly at Severus. "I'm sure he valued the brilliantly smart Ravenclaw who still holds record high scores in the NEWTS tests here at Hogwarts."

Severus actually managed a chuckle. "Yes, I tutored James – and Lily in Potions, their grades were almost as good as mine at times. James explained Transfiguration to me and Lily helped us perfect our charms wand-work. The bunch of us had a rather lively study group." Severus' smile faltered. "Of course there was some friction – not all of us liked each other. From the first, Sirius Black and I hated each other."

"Sirius Black?" Harry's face lost all amusement. "The murderer ... the Death Eater that wants me dead? He was one of your group?"

"We met him on the train on the way to Hogwarts as well. He was from a prominent pureblood family, just like James. I suppose he expected James to immediately become _his_ best friend instead of cosying up to a poor halfblood like myself, or a muggleborn like Lily." Severus smiled ruefully. "Black managed to insult both Lily and I a dozen times in the first fifteen minutes. James told him off in no uncertain terms before Lily could get up a head of steam. Black immediately backed off and apologized – rather insincerely – but the two of us never trusted or liked each other. We eventually settled for icey politeness when in James' company and that was it."

"You knew he was bad from the very beginning, I bet." Harry's eyes flared with temper, reminding Severus for the millioneth time of how Lily's eyes had always looked when she was angry.

Severus hesitated in his answer. "Well, I hated him, but I did think his friendship with James, at least, was sincere. I knew Black was capable of reprehensible actions – up to and including murder – but I thought he was on the right side. Something like old Moody – a bit of a loose cannon, but still 'our loose cannon'."

Harry nodded hestitantly. "So you thought his hate was directed only at you?"

"Well, me and anyone else he disapproved of or disliked, which I assure you tended to be very arbitrary. He hated his family, which was _very_ dark, so he hated anyone he _thought_ was dark – at least that is what he said. He suspected me of course because I felt the best way to combat the dark was to study it – to know your enemy." Severus grimaced. "Black did his best to turn James and Lily – and even Remus against me ..."

_December 1973_

Severus frequently mused on what would have happened if he'd chosen Slytherin, instead of Ravenclaw, he suspected he would have had difficulty keeping the friendships he'd formed with James and Remus – or even his long-standing friendship with Lily.

Luckily, Severus had chosen Ravenclaw when given the choice by the hat. He'd listened to James rambling on about the houses during the train ride. Eileen had seemed resigned that Severus would be in Slytherin, but James had said his father had told him there was some choice involved. Sirius had sneered that no non-pureblood survived long in Slytherin, and had glared meaningfully at Severus and Lily.

James had glared at Sirius and had snarled that that would be Slytherin's loss, wouldn't it? Besides, not all Slytherin's were bad, James said – his father greatly admired an up-and-coming Auror named Rufus Scrimgeour. James had reluctantly admitted that Slytherin did make life difficult for non-purebloods, though, and recommended Gyffindor or Ravenclaw to Severus and Lily.

Severus had felt he'd endured enough shunning, especially now he'd experienced acceptance. Ravenclaw was a good fit, he now thought. Certainly no-one in his house sneered that he was a bookworm. The fact that he was sure to be top of his year for the third time in a row made him popular. The other third years, even if they were not friendly, at least respected him.

He was wandering up to the library at present, eager to let his friends know that he'd gotten permission to stay at the castle over the Christmas break – with his mother dying that summer he had no reason to go back home.

He could hear Black ranting before he rounded the stacks of books.

"I tell you he'll turn on you ... he knows more about the dark arts than the teacher most of the time. In first year he was helping the seventh years with their DADA essays." Black thumped the table with his fist.

"And I charged them a pretty penny for it as well, remember." Severus broke in smoothly, hiding his anger with an amused smile, though his burning glare at Black was anything but friendly.

Severus continued to smile blandly at Black's fuming, then turned to James' uncomfortable face, who was sitting next to Black. He gave James a shrug and grin. "I know – it was wicked of me to charge Gryffindors more than Ravenclaws or Hufflepuffs." James snickered in amusement at Severus. "But I did charge Slytherins even more than Gryffs, so I wasn't _all_ bad."

James and Remus both laughed at that and Peter giggled nervously, not sure who to side with.

Black twitched unhappily and then noticed Severus' book. "'A study of the Cruciatus?' Planning on perfecting it, then? They say that to become a Death Eater you have to be handy with it, I suppose you need to start practicing it, now, hmm?" Black was now smiling fiercely, thinking he had Severus pinned.

James, Remus and even Peter looked a bit alarmed, but Lily had sat next to Severus at that point and glared at Black with a clenched jaw. "It's a medical text, you moron. It details studies that have been done so far to reverse the effects of the curse. Severus and I are looking at nerve potions to see what ones could possibly be modified – we're each doing a final potions paper on one of them with ideas on how to improve them to help cruciatus victims."

Black sank back, abashed and suddenly unsure, and Peter frowned. Remus saved the day by asking for a nerve potion to also research. James had immediately smiled and chimed in a request for a potion to look into as well "...and make it an easy one..." he joked with a grin.

James didn't really distrust Severus, but Sirius' constant barrage of suspicion did wear at him sometimes. The problem with being in a dorm with Sirius was having to listen to him all the time. He liked Sirius... he could be alot of fun when it was just he and Sirius. It was when he felt he was competing for James' attention that he would become this other person.

James talked about the problem of Sirius vs. Severus with his father the next day when he went home to the Potter Manor. He explained to Phineas that Sirius was fun, but lately the 'fun' pranks they got up to - Severus and Lily usually got angry about them, and rightfully so.

"I understand what they mean, when they explain. Sometimes the pranks just go too far, or we pick the wrong victim – I don't always notice when someone has ... difficulties and shouldn't be picked on." James had confessed hesitantly. "I always apologize to the person, but Sirius gets angry and says they should have a better sense of humor. I don't think he gets it that the person was really _hurt_."

Phineas had thought carefully. He sympathized with Sirius' effort to break from his dark family – however he had carried with him many of their flaws – the lack of empathy, the callousness and cruelty, and the enjoyment of other's pain. Sirius simply felt that if he was inflicting the pain – the others must deserve it, or that it was 'all in good fun'. Phineas was doubly glad that Severus – and Lily as well were also James' friends.

"I am glad you are listening to Severus, James. Severus does have a good grasp of what is 'fun' and what pranks would venture into 'cruel'. Many don't realize that what might be amusing to one might be intolerably cruel to another who perhaps doesn't have the resources emotionally to deal with it. Fun for you may be bullying to others." Phineas watched as James nodded in understanding.

James twitched irritably and added in an angry mutter. "I wouldn't mind Sev chewing on me for the pranks if it didn't make me look like an idiot in front of ... um..." James trailed off, face reddened.

"Lily?" Phineas guessed and James nodded morosely.

"She isn't always there when he takes a strip off my hide – but the few times she was...I just wanted to hex Severus bloody. Especially with the disappointed look in her eyes." James swallowed hard. "The worst part was knowing he was right and not being able to defend what we'd done without sounding like I thought being a cruel bully was okay. I know that's not his fault, exactly, but still..."

Phineas sighed, knowing what was coming next – he'd known it would happen when he'd seen the closeness between Severus and Lily that very first year and the look of stupified adoration on James' face when introduced to Lily on the train. He'd hoped either Severus and Lily would drift apart or James' admiration would wear off. Apparantly neither had happened.

"Dad, am I a horrible traitor for liking Sev's girl?" James whispered in shame.

"James, I know it sounds trite, but you are all only thirteen. Ten years from now you will likely be laughing about all the grief you're giving yourself. However, I recomend simply being friends with both of them and the problem will likely sort itself out. Of course... if you can improve yourself in Lily's eyes, it wouldn't be _bad._" Phineas smiled. "And, there is the possibility that the two of you may find out the Lily chooses neither of you."

James' look of shock made Phineas laugh, apparantly James had not considered that Lily might look elsewhere.

_1994_

Harry looked horrified at all this. "You mean, my father ... stole your girl?" Harry shook his head in disappointment. "At least he felt bad..."

"No, no. Though I suspect James continued to brood about the friendship between the three of us and his disloyal liking for Lily, who he assumed I loved. All the while, of course he had Black whispering in his ear that I was a rival, not a friend." Severus shifted uncomfortably. Explaining this part to a young teen was rather nightmarish.

"I did love your mother – as a friend, or perhaps, as a sister. Most likely, if she'd been my only friend, it might have grown into more at least on my part – for a long time in the years before Hogwarts she _was_ the only bright spot in my life. During summers, before James started inviting me to stay with him at Potter Manor, she was my refuge then, as well."

Severus' lips twisted in remembrance. "Black and I had an 'armed truce' by fourth year, when Black realized that continuing his barrage of verbal abuse was driving James and Remus away. And, of course, he had a new distraction – he and James found out Remus was a werewolf..."

"He was a werewolf all the way back then? I thought he'd been bitten after he'd left school." Harry said in amazement. "Wasn't that a little ... illegal?"

"Very." Severus rolled his eyes. "The Headmaster felt that a werewolf could learn to break free of the 'pack mentality' if he grew up around wizards. Of course, all that happened was that he formed a pack-bond with his friends in our group. James had the 'brilliant idea' of becoming animagi and keeping Remus company on the full moons. I suspected Black of suggesting it to James – he and James were very good at Transfiguration – I struggled with it, even with James' help. James and Black got their forms first – James was a stag, named Prongs. Sirius was a large black dog, like a Grim, and was named Padfoot."

Harry gasped in sudden realization.

"You mean that huge black dog I saw while visiting Aunt 'Tuney last summer was ... him? He'd only escaped Azkaban a week before, and he'd already found me?" Harry paled a bit. His muggle relatives had no chance against a dark wizard like Sirius Black.

Severus understood his concern. "Your Aunt was advised by me as to what to look for – when you told her about the dog, she contacted me at once. It's why they suddenly 'won a vacation to Majorca' and took off for there – and you went to Longbottom Manor to visit with Neville."

"So my father and Sirius Black kept Uncle Remus company during the full moon? Was that safe?" Harry asked uncertainly.

"Oh, they were safe in their animagus forms – though the real danger was Black wanting to run the forest with a werewolf in their midst – he kept saying it would be 'fun'." Severus smiled at Harry's goggle-eyed amazement.

"But you didn't have the Wolfsbane potion back then – Uncle Remus wouldn't have been in his right mind, what if you'd met up with someone – they'd get bit and Uncle Remus would have been in such trouble." Harry gasped.

"All excellent arguments – ones that both I and Remus put forward. James felt we were right, as well, once he thought it through. Black and Peter kept insisting the fun was worth the risk, though. By the time Black had thought of the scheme, Peter had managed his rat form."

Harry snorted, then snickered."A rat – aah, Wormtail, very clever name. Bad luck, though, being a rat."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Not as an impressive form as a Grim or a stag, to be sure. However it _was _quite useful. It particularly came in handy when making the map. Peter scurried around 'mapping the castle' with the tracking spell on him to translate onto the map – wherever he went, the map 'learned' about."

Severus smiled in remembrance of the brainstorming sessions in their fifth year with the other four 'Marauders'. James had impressed even Severus with his ingenious ideas for the map. James had said once that he 'got an idea, and Severus made it happen'. Severus had modestly said that James adn Remus were also quite clever and 'would have figured it out eventually'.

Sirius had loved the idea of the map, but his own talents lay in Defense against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration, and his inability to assist with the charms for the map had made him a bit ... cranky. Potions and Charms weren't his forte – and the map was almost exclusively made up of those. Severus and James had cornered Lily and picked her brain for the charms, driving her mad, since they refused to tell her what they needed the spells for.

James and Severus had snickered over the secret they were keeping from her together. The 'male bonding' helped to bridge the awkwardness they had felt at times over Lily. They had become closer than ever during that time. This had eventually driven Black to his act of murderous lunacy at the end of their fifth year.

"What I'm about to tell you is a secret. Only James and the Headmaster ever knew my animagus form. We use the form to spy on the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters. Even a hint of what I am could undo a great many things." Severus looked at Harry sternly.

"I understand dad. I'll be very careful." Harry said seriously. He loved his dad alot and the thought of losing Severus chilled him. He'd lost James and Lily – though he didn't really remember them. He wouldn't lose Severus as well.

"Black got quite jealous over the bond James and I had formed over the map - you would think being chasers together along with Frank on the Quidditch team would have been enough for him..."

_Just before OWL's – Fifth year - 1976_

James and Severus sat in a window seat in the library, they were trying to add the ghosts to the map and so far none of the charms they'd tried seem to work. Lily wouln't help, as she was boycotting their enterprise until they would agree to show her what they were doing.

James had laughingly said that they would – after graduation and Severus had smirkingly agreed with James. Lily had marched off in a huff, though truthfully she was pleased to see them becoming so much closer. She'd worried that Sirius had been leading James down a path of care-free self destruction. She sometimes thought of Sirius and Severus as 'the voice of reason' and 'the voice of chaos'.

She spent a fair amount of time with Severus and James, cramming for next week's OWL's. Black joined them, of course, as well as Remus and Peter. Other friends came and went – Frank, Alice, Emmaline and Hestia – but not as often as James and Severus were here.

She really liked James – when he wasn't being a show-off. He was starting to act a _bit_ more serious these days, making her hope he was growing up and could possibly make a decent boyfriend. And Severus, she was glad he was friends with James – she'd been afraid that he wouldn't like _anyone_ she chose as a boyfriend. But, if she did pick James he would likely have fewer objections.

She chuckled to herself, she'd seen the way Severus' dark eyes would watch the Gryffindor's Seeker – Emmaline Vance during games. Soon enough he would likely be too intent on Emmaline to worry about what Lily and James were up to.

Sirius also noticed the path of Severus' gaze during games – and at other times. He'd thought Severus obsessed with Lily, and had helped James all he could to win her away from Severus. Now the Ravenclaw was eyeing the Gryffindor's seeker, Emmaline as well. Sirius had immediately started flirting with her, but she was too wise to take him seriously. After all, he'd never even noticed her, before.

OWLS were done and summer was closing in on them. James, Sirius and Peter spent full moon nights with Remus whenever they could. James suspected that when he was not there, that Sirius and Peter would let Remus 'out for a run'. He was wary of this activity after Severus had exhaustively listed the numerous ways this activity could go south. Worse yet – Remus was against it so letting the werewolf out was tantamount to betraying him.

He'd compromised by refusing to let them turn Remus loose when he was there, but was unable to extract a promise from Sirius and Peter about the other nights. He was caught between loyalty to Severus and Remus and the other two marauders. If he tried to stop the others he risked betraying Remus' secrets as well as all their animagus forms.

Sirius hadn't been happy with James' 'prissy attitude' toward their adventures. "The risks used to be what you looked forward to." Sirius complained heatedly.

"You're risking Remus' life and a stay in Azkaban." James fumed in response. "Maybe you've nothing to fear, since the Dementors couldn't make you crazier, but I'd like to keep my wits."

Sirius had merely laughed, then got a bit of a scary look in his eyes as he looked at Severus, who sat next to James at that moment. James knew that Sirius had been planning something for weeks. He just hoped everyone survived.

As it turned out everyone did – barely.

Sirius had managed, with luck, to lure Lily to the Astonomy tower with a 'note from James', saying he wished to speak to her urgently, and please wait if he was late. That meant Severus had come looking for her in the Gryffindor's Tower, as she was supposed to be helping map out their potions project for the summer. Sirius had sent James – under protest – to get snacks from the elves, saying they'd sent Peter the last three times and one of them should take a turn.

The moon was just rising when Severus arrived, irritated, to fetch Lily. Sirius had handed Severus the note he'd spent weeks labouriously forging with very difficult spells, in Lily's own handwriting. He'd even managed to get her own stationary - Peter had filched it in his rat form from her bag.

The note had told Severus that Lily was going to the shrieking shack to investigate the rumors about its being haunted. She had heard there was a passage under the whomping willow and was going to check it out. The divination professor had promised extra credit to any student who managed to 'reach' a spirit – but the Hogwarts ghosts didn't count.

Sirius had watched Severus' face pale with satisfaction. He could just imagine Severus shrieking like a girl and racing back to the castle with Mooney snapping at his heels. He wouldn't look so cool or heroic to James then.

"Do you know what this note says?" Severus shouted."Lily is going to the shack!" He didn't wait for an answer as he raced out the door and out of the castle.

Sirius burst out in gales of laughter, accompanied by Peter. Emmaline and Alice listened to this with troubled frowns. Sirius was up to something. They slipped out the door in search of James. They found him coming back from the elve's kitchen and told him what they'd overheard. To their shock he dropped the tray of food and raced to an exit, shouting for them to tell the Headmaster, immediately.

Severus had reached the whomping willow in record time. He hit the knot on the trunk first shot and dove into the passage headlong, then slowed a bit, listening.

"Lily?" he called frantically, hoping to hear her voice. The closer to the steel door he got, the more he started wondering about this. Why would she do this? – she was an indifferent Divination student and wouldn't go this far for extra credit. How had she heard about the passage? But he had to make sure she was not here. He reached the door and called for Lily again, opening the door with a shakey hand.

The darkness in the room was cut through with shadows from the moonlight. He called Lily's name again, not sure what to do if she answered, and less sure what to do when she did not. He suddenly could hear James screaming his name as he pelted down the passage behind him, and then heard the horrifying sound of a werewolf howling from across the room he was at the entrance to.

Severus backed away from the door as he watched the approaching werewolf, sick with fear. This was far worse than he had imagined. To his shame, he bleated a weak "Remus?" in a pleading whimper. He'd hoped to come to a less cowardly death than this.

James bellowed "Run, Severus!" just as he transformed into a stag and charged the onrushing werewolf. Severus did as ordered and ran for it. The werewolf wrestled to get by the stag, finally winning past him to race after his human prey, James galloping behind him.

Severus got to the willow and made for the castle, seeing the Headmaster leaving the castle and running toward him. He heard the werewolf and stag leave the passage and looked back just as the werewolf aimed a blow at him.

There was a crack and he felt the world twist as he transformed into a bird, but the transfiguration didn't save him from the blow. The confused werewolf howled in pain as the phoenix blasted him with flames as he struck it to the ground.

The stag managed to get between the downed phoenix and the injured werewolf, charging him with head lowered and forcing him back. The Headmaster got there and bound the werewolf in chains reluctantly, knowing Remus would tear himself to bits trying to free himself.

"James! Get Severus to the castle, now!" The Headmaster shouted. James popped back into his human form and picked up the phoenix, racing to the empty infirmary with him. Albus levitated Remus back to the shack and freed him and slammed the steel door shut.

Albus fumed all the way to the infirmary, wondering how this near-tragedy had happened. At the same time incredulous at having seen the young Snape boy transform into a phoenix. True, all the teachers raved about Snape's brilliance – except for Minerva, who lamented that he had difficulties with Transfiguration.

Albus got to the infirmary just as Severus managed to transform back. The howl of pain indicated that his injuries as a human were quite severe. Albus shouted for Poppy and turned to the two boys in fury.

"What were you thinking?" Albus raged.

James stuttered out the tale of how they and their friends had found out Remus' problem and wanted to keep him company as animagi. How Sirius, Peter and James had managed the transformations – and that they did okay with the werewolf in their forms, and Remus was less torn up when he was not alone. "This was the first time Severus transformed, though." James finished in a whisper.

"What happened tonight, then?" The astonished Headmaster asked.

Before James could answer, Severus pulled the note out of his pocket and handed it to Albus.

Albus read the note and sighed in understanding. "Ah, you believed that your friend, Lily, was in danger. I assume she was not there?" He asked in concern.

James shook his head in anger. "That is an invention of Sirius' – I'm sure of it."

Albus looked shocked. "That is close to an accusation of murder, Mr. Potter. Are you sure?"

James was torn. "I don't know if he thought far enough ahead to realize he might get Severus killed – or Remus executed – but I'm sure he wrote the note."

Albus sighed and looked at Severus, who was getting patched together by Poppy, who had finally arrived. What a mess. When approached by Mr. Lupin about lessons for Remus he'd taken pity on him – such a brilliant child, and so very gentle. He had been sure they could work around it. Now to have _this_ happen out of childish malice and spiteful jealousy.

_1994_

"He tried to kill you ... using poor Uncle Remus?" Harry shouted in rage. "Remus hates the very idea of hurting _anyone_. It would have killed him to wake up and find out he'd bitten you or killed you."

"Yes, I know." Severus answered sadly. "He was absolutely stricken with grief when told by Albus what happened. I think it's why I got over the episode so quickly – I was so busy consoling Remus, I didn't have time to be afraid of him. I never could reconcile in my mind that gentle Remus was the monster I saw that night."

"How did he get away with it? Black should have been in Azkaban." Harry fumed.

"Well, charging Sirius would have involved explaining about Remus – Remus most certainly would have been executed, and likely Albus would have been removed as Headmaster." Severus sighed. "Expelling Sirius would have brought his parents there and, again, Remus would have been brought to light. Sirius was spared to spare Remus. I could only agree that Remus did not deserve to die to punish Sirius Black."

Harry grunted in reluctant agreement with their reasoning.

"The good news was that Albus, James and I ended up the only ones who knew I was a phoenix – soon to be called Fawkes after Albus' original bird. James was sworn to secrecy and I became Albus' familiar and favorite spy. Wards and enchantments on places mean nothing to a phoenix – I could sneak in anywhere, and with a little cunning and patience I could rescue many of the Dark Lords victims."

"Ooh, that was very sneaky – are you _sure_ you weren't Slytherin?" Harry teased. "You had to be very brave to sneak around the Dark Lord's hideouts."

"Yes, I think I moulted alot of feathers in my anxiety over things." Severus said. "It was lucky that Albus' first phoenix had returned to his place of origin – they do that every fifty years or so to do some sort of 'renewal' that usual burning doesn't accomplish. So I became 'Fawkes' in his place." Severus smiled. "Being a phoenix is how I ended up as 'Scorch' on the Marauders Map – everyone but James and I thought it had to do with occasionally 'scorching' a cauldron or two."

"Wait! - then you ... _you_ brought me the sorting hat in the Chamber of Secrets last year and healed my arm." Harry exclaimed.

Severus smirked at him and nodded, "Took you long enough to remember that."

Harry huffed. "So how did Sirius get back into anyone's good graces enough to become my parent's secret keeper?"

"I'm afraid we all believed his apologies and he even managed a few tears when we pointed out that Remus would have paid the price if I'd been killed or turned." Severus said ruefully. "To be honest, I thought he had learned his lesson. He had even apologized to me, and I thought him sincere. James waited until Remus and I forgave him before he would have anything to do with him again. He said that we were the offended parties and he would not forgive Sirius until we felt he meant what he said."

Severus sighed in remembrance. "James and Sirius went into the Auror Corp – as did my fiance Emmaline - and I got my mastery here with Professor Slughorn. I eventually became assistant and then teacher in Potions – mostly to make it easier to be 'Fawkes'.

"Eventually someone overheard a prophecy that said you would defeat the Dark Lord and your parents went into hiding. I was afraid to be the Secret keeper because there was always the chance I _would _be caught as a spy. Peter was too ... well, he didn't have the backbone to stand up to torture if necessary. Sirius insisted that he thought Remus had heard the prophecy, as he was doing odd jobs at the Leaky Cauldron at the time. James didn't really believe it, but he was afraid to risk you and Lily. Sirius really was the only choice left."

Severus remembered the endless debates on the subject, reflecting bitterly on Sirius having the nerve to call _Remus_ dark.

"I can't begin to tell you the horror I felt when I realized that Sirius had betrayed you to the Dark Lord and that your parents were dead. I had recently lost my fiance – Emmaline - and then to have James and Lily gone ... you were all that kept me sane for a long time." Severus smiled bitterly. "And, of course, having Remus here to help as well was definately for the best – I'm not sure I'd have had the wit to feed either of us, at first, let alone change your nappie."

"Dad!" Harry yelped in outrage. "No need to overshare." He hissed, but Severus just snickered at him.

"It was a good thing your parents were very explicit in their instruction – even Albus was dubious about having a recently bereaved bachelor teacher and a sorrowful werewolf caring for the 'Boy Who Lived'. He kept muttering about blood wards and your Aunt Petunia." Severus smiled. "Luckily he managed to circumvent it somehow – a room at her house is 'designated' as yours and as long as you visit now and then...well the blood wards still hold on you."

"I like visiting Aunt Tuney, and Dudley can be fun – but I don't think she'd want me there all the time." Harry said, a little appalled at the idea of _living _at the Dursley's.

"She's slowly thawed toward you, and she and I have made our peace. She was a bit jealous of her pretty, magical sister and felt abandoned by her when she left for the magical world." Severus answered quietly. "We all have things we've said or done as children that we wish we could undo. We always think we have time to make it up with a loved one, sometime in the future – and then suddenly they are gone and we're left with words we wanted to say, and now we can't."

"Well, I just hope Sirius Black tries to get in again – we'll be ready for him, this time." Harry said grimly.

Severus looked down at the map. "Yes, he'll be cornered easily enough with this." Severus said in grim satisfaction.

"Oh, maybe you shouldn't use that – I think it's become defective." Harry said unhappily. "I saw Peter Pettigrew on it earlier – that's why I was investigating."

Severus froze – the map never lied. There was something very wrong with this. He stood and murmured to Harry to get some sleep – he'd see him in the morning. He walked to Remus' bedroom nearby and pounded on the door. Remus answered sleepily and got dressed at Severus' request and walked with him to Albus' tower.

Albus was still awake, though Severus was not surprised. Albus was taking the whole Sirius Black escape badly. "Severus, and ...Remus? What can I do for you?" Albus asked.

Severus drew out the map and activated it. Remus reacted with a gasp of anguished memory.

Albus adjusted his glasses and looked over the map with a murmer of surprised pleasure. "The Marauder's Map? You made this while still in school?" At their nods he looked closer while Severus explained about finding Harry out of bed and confiscating it – and then explaining his history with the Marauders in more detail to Harry.

At Albus' glance Severus answered, "It was time he knew more – Harry is a sensible lad, he does better with more information, rather than less."

"Well, all this is fascinating, but why the urgency?" Albus asked curiously.

"Harry says he saw Peter Pettigrew on the map." Severus said flatly, and was gratified to see them freeze in shock. "I don't know how that is possible if he is dead – we never could get ghosts on the map."

"He must be alive." Remus breathed in agreement. "But that would mean ... I don't understand what that means unless_ he_ was the traitor."

Severus felt a sneer creep across his face. Most days Severus understood Remus' weakness when it came to those he considered pack – since that was mostly Severus and Harry, with Neville and his family peripherally included. Frank and Alice had been partially healed by the Nerve-healing potion he and Lily had worked on while she was confined under Fidelus – she'd _desperately_ need something to do. The potion had kept Frank and Alice sane, though their magic had been affected. Remus was highly protective of them and their son.

Still, to hear him grasping at straws – hoping Sirius was innocent - it was most aggravating. Albus headed off an oncoming 'Snape snit', as he called them.

"We need to investigate further – we should try to take him alive and question him." Albus looked at Severus closely. "I've always had questions I wanted answered regarding that night, and if he _was_ the traitor, with Voldemort once again on the horizon – I have even more to ask."

Severus nodded reluctantly – Albus' reasoning was sound.

"We will take turns carrying the map – though Severus – you have the best chance of getting there quickly." Albus mused. "We also need to capture Peter. Obviously he has some answering to do as well."

Remus nodded emphatically. "It's close enough to the full moon – I may be able to sniff one of them out even without the map – if I have the chance."

Severus retook the map, leafing through the areas. "The usual patronus messages if we find something, then?" Severus smiled at their emphatic nods. "Alright – I promise not to kill him if I can help it, if I find him first."

Severus knew he sounded a bit like a child deprived of a treat, but still – he'd been hoping to find the escaped animagus and had planned a painful surprise for him. It wouldn't have been difficult for Severus to find the hate to kill the man who had robbed him of his dearest friends, and deprived Harry of his parents.

Knowing he might be innocent – it was galling.

A few days went by and Severus rarely gave up the map. He was determined to be the one to find Sirius Black. He lived on little sleep and a lot of Pepper-up. Albus watched him with concern and Poppy clenched her teeth every time she saw him.

He didn't care. It was the second day of the full moon – just four days after finding Harry out of bounds and evening was approaching. He frowned as he saw Harry and Neville approaching the whomping willow with a knot of other students behind him. Their names overlapped until he couldn't tell who they were.

Suddenly Sirius Black's name appeared behind the children and charged toward the group, scattering them like leaves, and Severus realized Peter's name was among the names of the students. Severus sent off his Patronus to Albus and changed into his phoenix form, blinking out of the castle in a blaze of fire.

Z~Z~Z~Z~Z~Z~Z~Z~Z

Harry and Neville ran along the passageway from the whomping willow into the shrieking shack. Uncle Remus had shown him the passage and the shack before, saying that he used the place for his transformations during times when they were living at the castle.

Harry could hear Ron Weasley whining and carrying on in one of the rooms ahead, so he must still be alive. He felt a bit guilty at going after Sirius Black without his Dad, but he'd sent Hermione and Draco after him – the pair of them bickering loudly, even as they ran for the castle. Dean and Seamus had been sent to the Headmaster, in case Professor Snape couldn't be found. Justin, Hannah and Susan had gone to find Remus, so Harry felt he'd covered as many bases as he could – mostly to get out of as much trouble as possible when this was over.

Still, he wanted to face his parents betrayer, himself. Neville understood – if it had been Bellatrix LeStrange who had escaped, he'd have backed Neville in any chance his friend had for vengence. They crept together into the room, Ron laying on the bed with his mangled leg and his rat.

"It's a trap, Harry!" Ron shouted desperately, pointing behind the door in back of them. "He's an animagus."

Harry and Neville whipped around, wands at the ready as the door snapped closed. The emaciated form with the long, matted hair looked barely alive – except for the madly shining eyes burning out of their deep sockets.

"Expelliarmus!" Harry shouted, but the man had been Auror-trained and shielded quickly, and disarmed them instead.

"I knew you would come to rescue your friend – your father would have. Where are the others? - gone for teachers I suppose?" The wizard grinned a bit madly. "No matter, I'll have my vengence and be gone."

The mention of his father ignited the rest of Harry's temper and he forgot all about magic – he just wanted to pound the grin off Black's face. Harry lunged forward, grabbing Black's wand hand and forcing it up. The thin arm was remarkably strong and even with Neville joining in the wrestling match and Ron howling encouragement – it was hard to pin the animagus down, but finally Harry had a knee on Black's chest with a wand to his neck.

"Going to kill me, Harry?" The wizard chuckled hoarsely.

"You betrayed my parents – you're the reason they're dead." Harry howled in distress. He should be able to do this – he should already have thrown a curse by now.

To his dismay he could hear Fawkes arrive with that firey sounding blast, and then a pop – sure enough his Dad strode in, wand out.

"Step away from him, Harry." Severus said quietly, his eyes intent on Black.

Harry was almost relieved. His dad would see to it that Black was punished, somehow Harry couldn't bring himself to just curse the pitiful huddle of bones, no matter how madly he grinned or taunted.

Harry and Neville scrambled over to stand beside Ron, who had breathed a sigh of relief at seeing Professor Snape – likely the only time in his life he had done so.

"Well, Black, looking a bit worse for wear, aren't you." Severus was quite shocked at his appearance. He'd somehow expected the wizard to still be the arrogant, tough-looking Auror he'd last seen. This pitiable huddle was difficult to recognize as his hated rival. "I had hoped to be the one to find you ..." Severus waved the Marauder's Map in front of him, then put it in a pocket. "... It's ironic that James' favorite invention will be what brought you to justice."

"Listen to me, Snape – kill me if you like, but listen – he's_ here. _Peter is here. He was James and Lily's secret keeper, not me." Black's eyes looked desperately at Severus, making him pause. He'd been tricked in the past by Black's apparantly sincere pleas. He wouldn't lose Harry to Black's mad tricks.

Severus cast incarcerous and bound the wizard to a bedpost and looked around at the children – and at the rat clutched tightly in Ron's hands, in spite of it's frantic squirming. It squealed as Severus' gaze fell on it.

Ron Weasley, as well as Neville Longbottom were frequent visitors to their home. However he'd always forbidden any familiars – they always upset his rather cranky kneazle Murdock. He'd heard that Ron had a rat, but this was the first time he'd seen it.

"It's _him_, Snape. It's Peter." Black hissed at him.

The rat, desperate to get free, bit Ron and ran for it. Severus, however, was now determined to get the truth and waved a spell – transforming the rat back into the chubby form of Peter Pettigrew who groveled on the floor, trying to figure a way out of this.

"Severus, old friend, Sirius ... it's good to see you." Peter said frantically.

Severus looked at him in astonishment as he waved a binding spell on the supposedly dead wizard.

Sirius barked a laugh. "You won't get out of it this time by cutting off a finger and blowing up a street."

Remus and Albus arrived, to Severus' relief. He waved an arm at Harry who immediately came over to hug him."It's true, then, Peter is alive ... what does it mean, Dad?"

Peter was squalling at Remus "Old friend, gentle Remus – don't let them kill me."

Remus, though was too close to the full moon to be easily swayed. His golden eyes glinted in rage. "You should have known that if the Dark Lord didn't kill you – we would."

Peter gibbered in terror, and Albus shook his head at the traitor in disgust. Severus, though, now had a question.

"Very well, obviously you switched – but _why_?" Severus asked.

Black hunched his shoulders and hung his head. "Peter had been insistant that we should switch – said it would be a perfect way to show James that he and I were as smart as you - and James was frantic to keep Lily and Harry safe. We persuaded him at last when Emmaline died – you remember how it was. Albus brought you to Lily to tend. You were almost paralyzed with grief. You lay on that sofa sobbing into her lap for hours."

Severus paled at having the memory replay in his head. It was a rare day that he didn't remember the spunky Gryffindor that had captured his heart. He'd been moments too late to rescue her, but he'd brought her body to the infirmary, crying a lake of phoenix tears onto her still body to no avail. A bitter blow – to be a phoenix and not be able to save one's own mate. Albus had taken him to Lily to be cared for until he was ready to leave – determined to avenge Emmaline.

Instead, only weeks later Lily and James were gone as well.

"James watched you in your grief and it terrified him – he said he'd never survive losing Lily and Harry. He finally gave in then, switched secret-keepers a few days later." Black's voice dropped to a whisper.

Remus suddenly started to twitch. "You'd better leave me to my moonlight, friends." Remus said. "Even with the Wolfsbane I get a bit cranky."

Albus waved Sirius' bonds away and levitated Peter in front of them. Severus bound Ron's leg and Neville and Harry helped Ron limp to the castle infirmary.

Severus and Albus ended up in the Headmaster's Tower with Sirius and Peter. Sirius turned to Severus resolutely.

"I've had alot of time to think in Azkaban, Severus – mostly in dog form, but still ... I realized the two of us should have been united to save James and Lily ... and Harry. We could have done it, you know." Sirius watched the Potions Master nod slowly. "We still have a chance – together we can keep Harry safe, I promise you that the two of us will make the Dark Lord cringe in terror."

Severus smirked a bit at the thought. Yes, he thought, it was possible that Sirius' madness could be useful. The shock of finding out that Peter was the traitor had blunted his hate for Black, and Black's current pitiable appearance made him hesitant to reject him.

Albus smiled as he watched the pair slowly shake hands. Tom would never know what hit him.

**The End.**


End file.
